Boob Milk

I can't believe it's already been a month.  It feels more like one reeeaaally long day.  

Thankfully, I'm finally starting to feel good about my abilities as a mom. (Yay!) Here's why...

I woke up this morning and my boobs were leaking. LEAKING.   I fed the baby, put her back to bed and pumped.    

I won't go into too much detail for fear of grossing out the delicate eyeballs of my male readers, but I got an awesomely large amount of milk, and I felt amazing!  Glorious even.  

All of the sudden it hit me that I was succeeding as a mom.  Why was it that looking at a bottle full of boob milk caused that reaction?  Not sure.  But it did.  

Mother Nature at work, I guess.


As I sit admiring my latest milk haul, I feel so empowered!  It's also 6 am and my baby has been sleeping since midnight, so that could also be part of it.  

It turns out sleep and not hearing any crying does a body good, empowers it even.

5 Things I Didn't Know When I Brought My Newborn Home

I'll start out by saying that my little girl is the cutest being ever, in the history of time, and that I love her.  BUT, let's be real, newborn care kinda sucks. 

I'll admit, my little peanut is only 4 weeks old, so I'm definitely still a newbie mom.  

I've been thinking about why no one talks about the newborn stage of babyhood, and why none of my fellow mommy friends warned me about this stage. My husband and I have decided that there are certain things that no one wants to tell you about newborns, and this is because it would scare people away from having kids...causing the human race would end...  

Here are a few things we've learned.  

1.  For the first few weeks, your baby may not sleep all that much.

On average, newborns sleep 16 hours a day.  My baby, however, is on the lowest part of that bell curve.  Yes, not all new babies sleep all the time.  For the first 3 weeks of my daughters life, she was awake, like, all the time.   Sleeping only after nursing, as long as I didn't move...

BUT she did sleep like a rockstar at night, waking only once, maybe twice.   

Please tell me I didn't just jinx myself.  

2.  Your baby will go from lovable snuggle monster to screaming banshie.   

Part of this comes from you not having a clue what you're doing and the other part comes from the baby not having a clue what he/she's doing.  

On top of that, you need to get to know each other and learn all the signals and cues your baby will give you, because basically, neither one of you has any clue what the other is trying to say.  

This getting to know you phase takes time!  Especially if you're a first time mom who's never had to pay attention to the 500 (exaggeration) different ways a newborn will tell you she's hungry.  

Then once you figure it all out, he or she will grow up a little bit more and everything will change.  Again.  Yay! 

3.  You'll wonder if you'll ever have time for your husband again.

With all of your might, you will try to hold an intelligent conversation with your partner only to discover that after a day full of feeding, diaper changing, and screaming, your mind doesn't have a lot of room for ...well, anything.  

You'll feel bad about not giving your hubby the attention he deserves and that you wish you could give him... but you won't feel too bad, mostly because you won't have the energy to.  

4.  You will feel as if your only purpose in life is to create milk and then feed it to your tiny human.

Not much to say about this one.  If you breastfeed, it's basically true.  Hubby described my maturity leave as "the life of a diary cow.  Eat, be milked, and repeat."  

5.  Not all new moms will bond instantly with their baby.  

I repeat, if you did not magically bond with your baby the moment he or she was placed on your chest, that's ok!  It is completely normal.  If you're one of the FEW parents who did bond instantly, kudos to you.  But, if you're like most parents I've talked to, the bonding comes later.  After all, this little person is technically a stranger.  It will take multiple moments and experiences with your baby for that "all encompassing joyous bond" to form.  

It doesn't help that the media sells you this idea that becoming a parent is the happiest moment in your life.  Let's be real, you're going to be too tired to be that happy.  

(If it's been more than a few weeks and you still don't feel connected, that may be a sign of postpartum depression.  Remember, it's important to have someone to talk to.)

Your baby will become the greatest thing you've ever done.  BUT, do not feel guilty if you don't feel like that right away, you will! 

So there you go.  The last month feels like one long never ending day.  But it's so worth it. 

New Baby

~Short Birth Announcement Post~

Four weeks ago our baby finally arrived, almost two weeks late.   After 28 hours of contractions at home and 24 hours of labor at the hospital, I finally had a C-Section that brought our little girl into the world outside the womb.  

She is the most precious thing I've ever seen.  

She was 9 lb. 12 oz. and 22 inches long.  As I mentioned here, my uterus seriously rocks.  

Vanagon Diaries: Custer State Park, SD

In March, Chris and I drove the Van to the Black Hills and Custer State Park in South Dakota.  We spent Spring break  camping and hanging out with buffalo.   

Since it was the off season, we were two of the only people in the entire state park.  

Custer State Park Camp Ground

We had some visitors at the camp site.

It took a while, but they finally got Bella's attention.

Bella chilling in the front seat.

So many Bison  

They made driving a little difficult...

This one licked the van.

Mount Rushmore 

Mount Rushmore is pretty awesome in the off season.  We were literally the only people there!

Playing with a Camera Lens 

What You Should and Should Not Say to a Pregnant Woman

What you really shouldn't say to a pregnant woman...

"You're huge!"  Thank you, I know I'm fat.  

"Are you sure you don't have twins in there?"  Thank you, I know I'm fat.  

"Are you sure your due date was right?"  Either you're saying you think I'm bigger than I should be, or I'm smaller than I should be.  Either way.....

"[Any story about a horrible labor experience]"  Why?  Why are you speaking these words to me?

"Enjoy your sleep (or anything for that matter) now, because soon it will be gone!" Thanks for the encouragement.  

"It hurts so bad, you're going to want an epidural."  Thanks for the encouragement.  

What people should be saying instead...

"I made brownies.  I'll bring you some."

"You look fantastic!  You deserve a brownie."

"Can I buy you lunch, or a brownie?"

"You're going to be a great mom! I made you some brownies."

"You're baby is going to be the cutest little thing ever!  Have a brownie."

"I'm going to stop over and bring you some dinner, and brownies."  

Pregnant and Overdue

Big overdue belly.  View from my feet.

"Yep, still pregnant"

"Nope, no baby yet"

...Still pregnant.  I now understand the so-often read about but never fully grasped plight of the overdue pregnant woman.  Don't get me wrong, I do feel blessed that my uterus seriously rocks and it's keeping this little squishy safe and warm (and ensuring she's nice a plump and harder to squeeze out), but, my baby is still overdue, and I'm still incredibly uncomfortable.  

What do you do with yourself when you're waiting to have your baby, besides clean the house 10X over as you wheeze under your own girth while binge watching Breaking Bad?  

Please, tell me.  

Mental distraction.  That's the key, lots of mental distraction.  Like Netflix, Instagram, re-embracing my blog...  If you're like me, none of your maternity clothes fit anymore, you have a whole new appreciation for being able to climb even one flight of stairs without being winded (Why does my house have so many stairs???) and you're doing everything in your power to not go crazy while waiting.  

...I'm so ready for this baby to come out.  

A lot of women have told me that they're no longer scared of birth by this point, but I've never been scared of it.  "One day of pain" for a cute little squishy to bring home.  

I can handle that, even if it means pulling it out of my left nostril.  

2015's Obsession

I only posted 8 times in the whole of 2015.  I thought about it and I'm pretty sure it's because I became obsessed with the whole baby thing.  Reading everything I possibly could, preparing in every way I could possibly think of.  

It became, well, all consuming and it sort of took over my life.  (I am now officially over due and am starting to drive myself crazy wondering what else I can do...nothing... I can't do anything else...)   

Obsession may not be a strong enough word... I need a 12 step program and the little babe isn't even born yet.